Topics such as homosexuality, drug addiction, alcoholism, pornography, cyber-bullying, etc. are all pertinent and powerful subjects that so many youth need to hear their religion speak on in a way that is not damning, condescending, or dismissive. Not to say that churches must make light of any of these subjects, but it seems that somehow talking about these sins open wounds too real for most conservative christians to handle.

Take for instance Christianity in Southeast Asia, SE Asia is facing a horrible Aids crisis that has been brought to light by the Banyan Tree Project. The sociological pressures placed on them by the evangelical conservative missions groups bred a cultural taboo on speaking about Aids or Safe Sex, leading to a massive spread of silent Aids cases. What the world needs is a Christianity that is not afraid to talk about things that would normally be uncomfortable. After all, isn’t Christianity supposed to be uncomfortable? Isn’t it supposed to make you feel like you aren’t living up to your purpose, but at the same time feel totally and completely encapsulated in love? Often I feel that the church focuses on one of the other- His eternal love, or the blasphemy of sin, and ignore the beauty of the balance that belief in Jesus would give.

I think you hit the nail on the head, something is coming. As an atheist on the outside, I can tell you that the church is weaker now than it has ever been. As I’ve said before, I love the beauty that Christianity offers, and I believe that faith is an important part in the happiness of many people. With that said though, the church has drifted far from what it was and it is losing its ability to change hearts in America. I feel movements like yours can change that, I just hope it isn’t too late.

To sum it up, I guess what the church is missing now is love. Love that is strong enough to reach people, even if it makes the church uncomfortable. Love that is strong enough to make people feel safe, even when the world around them is collapsing.

As a teenager, I had several boyfriends, started doing drugs, AND going to church all at the same time. Pregnant at 16, I stopped doing all drugs and drinking, got married, and gave birth to Nathaniel, which means “Gift from God.” Before turning 18, my “shot gun” marriage crumbled. Even then, Jesus wasn’t going to give up on me. I managed to buy a house as soon as I turned 18, I worked full time, and managed to finish high school at the alternative school in Cape, and got my diploma then went on to cosmetology school (which was what I always wanted to do). I started working for myself in a new salon, and was doing great. Building business was tough, and required long hours, and lots of evening and weekends. I really thought I was something… How “I” had done everything.

In 1998, I started visiting a new church. Unfortunately, things had become crazy in my spiritual and personal life…I was out partying with friends after work, hanging out in bars, basically doing a lot of repulsive things for several years. My attitude was, “It’s my life, I’ll do or not do whatever I want.” Oddly, though my relationship with God was absent, I always wanted to be in church. Even if I had partied all night and never went to sleep, I would be at church. Strange? Yes. But real. Things in my life were changing, and I started growing more in faith and decided I wanted to learn more and more.

Christmas weekend 1999 I was baptized. Still young in faith, and really getting to know just who God was, and what He was about, I got more and more active at church. I started to hear that voice again and feel God pulling me back. I loved it! God was shouting at me, “Its not all about YOU” .. “YOU didn’t create this comfortable home, car, business, life or anything.” I was serving at church in many ministry areas, and knew God was using me, and even turning my ashes into beauty. My gross sexual sin had been washed clean, but I still really thought I controlled my life. I was a very self-reliant person. As I studied the Bible in small groups, with some amazing Christian mentors, I was serving as much as possible. Probably for the first time, I knew that GOD wanted ME–All of ME– with all my flaws and all my gifts.

A few months later, when I was 22, I was in a car accident, causing a very serious back surgery, breaking a vertebrae, and rupturing 3 disc, more like crushing them! It knocked me on my back for seven months after I finally HAD to have my surgery, or end up in a wheelchair and diapers, and I had to learn to let Him take care of me, though His people. Without that experience, though very serious and painful, I could not be where I am today. A retired/handicapped stay at home mom, who struggles with being so young at heart and spirit, and old broken down in body. I spent my 25th birthday in bed, wearing a back brace (“glamified” by some little angels), unmarried, alone, but feeling more loved than I ever had in my life. HIS people provided food everyday for 6 weeks. HE made it possible for my mom to live with me for 3 months and help take care of me and my son. HE blessed me with constant donations to pay my bills to a tee. He loved me that much. So many people prayed for my back to be miraculously healed! I knew, even before the surgery, that he was healing me in a very different way.. He was preparing me for something else, something my vain self, and stubborn self obviously would not get any other way!

Shortly before my surgery, he blessed me with meeting a wonderful Christian man with so many of the traits that I never dreamed of even asking for. I (and everyone else), quickly knew God had chosen him for me. I never dreamed my life would be what it is today. My husband is so different from all the other men I’ve known. I call him the “Puritan.” He tends to be VERY conservative, and for a girl with purple hair and a tongue ring (at the time), that was strange. We really challenged each other spiritually, and still do. I became the full time “wicked stepmother” to his teen boys, that he had full custody of, and my new husband worked out of town most of the time. I knew though, God was changing my life, my priorities, my passions. He gave me a new career. Beautiful, glamorous salons were replaced by dirty, hot baseball fields, stinky feet and rude, gaseous explosions.

I have learned to trust God, and that He puts me where He wants me, even though I am stubborn and constantly make wrong decisions. I have finally developed a relationship with God the FATHER, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It is so awesome how God always reels me back in under His wing, and loves me so deeply in spite of my stubbornness, and pride. And He provides all that I need and more! The only time my body feels no pain is when I am singing to God. I sing to Him as much as possible! My head runs like a constant MP3 player, I have a song for everything. Music is my passion in life! I have the coolest privilege of serving God in this way.

I have learned that I think one of my main “missions” here on this Earth is to be able to show other people that, no matter what your circumstance, GOD IS WITH YOU! And that we ALL have some kind of “issue” but, how we CHOOSE to live with them, especially as Christians, shows the world what we *Christans* are really made of, I CHOOSE to wake up and be THANKFUL to GOD for the day, even when I’m in pain, I choose to put on make up and clothes that make me feel like I look nice, and most importantly, I wear a SMILE on my face, and listen, LOVE, and help others, instead of constantly dwelling on my own personal circumstances! I know my life is always a work in progress, and one day, maybe I will be one of those “perfect” Christian soccer mom types, or not. But, He loves me for who I am, and who I am in HIM, despite what I’ve done, and might still do. If this open book of my life ends today, I’ll be seeing you in heaven, and singing and dancing all over the place with no regrets, and the utmost love and praise of this GREAT and AWESOME God we serve.